Instructions for Turning Left for Assholes

Every holiday season one thing apparently seems to happen, people in general forget how to drive and recklessly endanger both their own lives and the lives of anyone driving around them. One of the seemingly most-forgotten things is how to make a left hand turn. To help you out, here are step by step instructions for turning left.

Step One


left turn signal

Step one is simple. When you see the place you are wanting to turn left coming up, you simply turn on your left turn signal. This will let traffic both behind you and coming toward you know that you are planning on making a left turn.



Step Two


go slow Step two is also simple. Once your turn signal is activated, begin slowing down coming to a stop as you get to the place you are wanting to turn. If there happens to be a turning lane where you are driving, move your car into that lane and then slow down. This lane is to keep your slowing and stopping from disrupting traffic flow, so use it. Move into the lane BEFORE you slow down and stop.

Step Three

Finally in step three, once you have turned on your signal and slowed to a stop, make sure there isn’t on-coming traffic and turn onto the desired road, driveway, or parking lot.

Congratulations! You did it!

Good for you, you have safely turned left. You didn’t slam on the brakes and almost get hit by the car behind you before turning on your signal, you didn’t make on-coming traffic try to guess what it is you were planning on doing, you followed the proper steps and turned left without incident or injury. Just always remember to do the steps in order, because it is very annoying to have a car in front of you suddenly stop and then turn on their signal, it is also annoying for a car in front of you to almost stop before going into a turning lane that was put there with the sole purpose of people slowing to turn in it, and it is very annoying to hit another car that has slammed on the brakes in front of you.

If anyone you know has trouble turning left, please share this article. It could save them from someone getting out of their car to bludgeon them with a hard object while shouting incoherently about the LEFT FUCKING TURN SIGNAL!

Thanks for reading!